violence

well, there has been A LOT of violence in Riga lately. First our exchange friend Sebastian was beaten up by Russians in Maskavas and then I saw SECURITY GUYS beating up customers in Pulkvedis, which is now officially boycotten by me, and I will also ask all the Finns and other people who I meet, not to go there. It's not security guys should make you feel secure, not scared.

I am at home, I am mad against me, I havent done school when I should have done it, so I think I am a bad student. Thought with next week I'll start alcohol-free October, so I bet then I just have time to study. Good for me. To be honest, I know more than half of the things they've teached us lately. Still... I dont know: it feels like the teachers are teaching SAME things all the time! And thats something I cannot understand. Hopefully it changes, or then.. Don't know.

Movies today? Anyone in?

plogger kusee, some photos

joten pistin ihan vaa pari kuvaa nettiin toisaalle. Eli tänne vissiin

i know

Well, it was nice. Band is great (Tribes of the City) and I somehow like them everytime more and more. But why people cannot realize how good they sounds!

And now I found out again why I should keep on going. GIGS, gigs give me so much energy that I can flow on next one (which is btw 5th of October, and then again on 6th -- Hospitalu Iela!).

suicide blog

I have been studying suiciding in this month. Been reading books (4 of them, inc. Martin Page and Nick Hornby). I have been listening for music (Suicide is painless, made by Manic Street Preachers, Marilyn Manson and Lehtivihreät, ok, they made it as Mitään muuta ei oo).. I've seen movies: Philosopher Escaped (about thinking = living, otherwise you've killed yourself), Wristcutters: a love story (OHH GOD!), Dead Man (dead?! man?! social suicide?!) and end of this all Koti-ikävä (Homesick).

After all this I have to admit, Finns(OHH, yes, we) know better how to make people feel sick. I was almost puking after Homesick-movie, allthough my co-worker Emilia K. were acting nicely in there. Havent seen Virgin Suicides yet, but it's waiting on my computer.

Why do I do all this? All though, there is no reason, I do not want to really kill myself, I am just interested about it as a phenomena. When I was on my teenages years, some of the people on my hometown (quite many of them) killed theirselves. It has been quite a trend on those years, right after great depression in Finland in beginning of 90´s. Tired of life? Tired to live?

I have been doing stupid things. I have lost contact to all the people. I feel, I live only inside my head. Is there any way out?

painajaisia

Olen nähnyt painajaisia viimeisen viikon jokaisena päivänä. Milloin kuolleet nousevat haudoistaan, milloin murhaan (kyllä!) jonkun tuttavan. Toissayönä heräsin kylmässä hiessä, olin murhannut n. 10 vuotta sitten ala-astekoulukaverini Mikan (joka on oikeasti s. 1982 - k. 1998), joka kuitenkin oli ala-astekoulukaverini Kimmo (epäilemättä vielä elossa). Hautasin hänet (14-vuotiaana) hautausmaalle, ja nyt 24-vuotiaana tunnustin murhan, mutta minua ei otettu tosissaan, koska 14-vuotiaalla ei ole rahkeita murhata samanikäistä.

Uni tuntui liian todenmukaiselta, koska tiesin unessa, että Mika on kuollut, mutta onko niin, että olen sitten mennyt tappamaan Kimmon. Unessa molempien vanhemmat (jotka olen usein tavannut) olivat armeliaita minulle. Halasivat, ja sanoivat, ettei koko maailman painoa ja muiden tekoja tarvitse kantaa olallaan. Kylmät väreet menevät selkäpiissä, kun vain ajattelee asiaa. En osaa suhteuttaa asiaa yhtään. Muut yöt eivät sen helpompia ole olleet. Menisi vaan ohitse tämäkin kausi. Pelottaa vaan niin helvetisti.

Miksi pojat olivat unessani? Miksi myös Guntars ja Uldis (menneitä latvialaisia tuttavia) seikkailevat homehtuneina unissani? Olen yrittänyt rauhoitella itseäni kuuntelemalla Pärtiä. Juomalla vähemmän kahvia ja alkoholia.

Muutoin täällä on samanlaista kuin aiemmin. Syksyä ilmassa, lämpimiä päiviä ja sadetta. Tänään on sadetta. Flunssakausi meneillään, opetustakaan ei ole suurimmassa osaa ajasta (Andan lapsi on sairas, ei kansanmusatunteja ja Ieva on sairaana, ei soittotunteja). Ja Andan ja Ievan lisäksi meillä ei ole kuin Martinshin, toisen Ievan ja jonkun vanhan puolalaisen sedän tunteja. Toisinsanoen, huomenna menen vasta kouluun seuraavan kerran. Ahdistaa vähän, koska luentojärjestyksiä on muutettu, eikä mulle perinteisesti kerrota mitään. Opiskele siinä sitten. Eniten odotan kenttätyökurssia Latgalessa. Aikeena on siis mennä sinne viikoksi tai viikonlopuiksi kuuntelemaan mummojen laulua ja keskustelemaan heidän kanssaan kansanperinteestä. Lisäksi treenataan haastattelujen tekoa ja muuta vastaavaa, havainnointia ja sellaista. Voisihan sitä tietysti niissä pikkukylissä tehdä pienimuotoista tutkimusta myös nuorten musiikkikulttuurista: mihin se yltää niin syrjäseudulla; mitä he kuuntelevat, mistä saavat musiikkinsa, soittavatko, tanssivatko, laulavatko?

Äiti soitti. Kertoi kuulumisia. Niistä sitten mitään.

rudens (=fall, autumn, syksy)

I've listening music as a music and as a noises. Now I am having free day from school, my teacher is sick. Though I heard about it from schoolmates accidentially, but good that I heard it. Climate is changing, soft really high clouds, sun is shining, but is not anymore warm. A small ladybug fly just from outside, window is open. The song I wrote about couple times ago is also made in Latvian, then its name is Rudens. It's even more actual than English version of it. I bet, soon leaves will be red and all the colours. I like that world filled with all the colours except green. Green is like... half of the year, but those yellows, browns, reds and purples are staying here only week or two.

Soo, Skanu Mezs was funny festival, I was there with Kalle (finnish flatmate), Guillame (French guy who is doing his Sokrates here) and Segolene (French girl, Erasmus-posse). I met also some Latvians who are familiar from OLD times. Agnija, journalist-student, Eliina and Ieva, my Latvian sisters and suprisingly also some members of Tribes of the City (Latvian/Russian band) - like Sergejs and Mihails. I met also Gjints (or was it Gjirst!). Music there was quite crazy most of the time. I loved Jamie Lidell and Circle (of course). I also considered Blindsnakes quite GOOD. On Saturday there was playing more noise-stuff thingies. Which didn't were my stuff, I decided: I need a rhythm.

On the otherhand we went to see Baltic Document Festival free showing to K.Suns. That movietheater is cool, that kind of old school-theather. Beautiful inside and in the middle walking way. It's small theater, but one of the loved ones. Those documentaries were quite depressing/confusing. There was estonian Through the Darkness which was a document about Estonian oilstone mines, how ending those makes people desperate. People have only their believes, religion to safe them. Other movie was about a bit crazy Lithuanian old guy, who was a film director, but didn't get change to express himself, so he was left kind like with himself and he become odd. Name of the movie is Countdown, and I liked this one. As I liked the other one. We had SMALL discussion about movie 1 with people who were there (Guillame, Kalle, Marika (LV)). I find that first movie about about dying of a countryside, Marika find it like... dying of Mine. How differently we see life.

I visited also Graffiti Festival, it wasnt any special, but though it was nice picnic weather, so I bought delicious wild raspberry juice and enjoyed sunshine. Boys joined afterwise to take some photos of graffities.

Yesterday was hanging around and relaxing. Today I was thinking to go for a walk to Old Town, just to walk those streets, probably stop by for one beer, but mainly I need to take a copy of our Rent Agreement. And sent it to KELA. (WHAT is KELA asked our "Isännöitsijä" when Emma called him to ask about Housebook :D)

Good point to end today. I am of for the streets and coming back when its necessary.

dead man

You should never travel with dead man, either go to movies with simutanous interpretation in Riga. It will ruin your day.

1. This is culture shock. - I've found out that i hate Latvians because they cannot try even to study more languages (inc. English, which just happens to be one of the most used languages in the world between nations). They cannot say that's too hard, thought if they know Russian, English is easy to learn comparing to it. And they cannot just say, there is no time for languages, because there is (why I know basics in Estonian, German, Norwegian and Russian while I'm able to speak at least Finnish, Swedish and Latvian and of course English... that makes 8 languages.)

2. This is because of TV. For us it is so obvious that there is subtitles, but how you can just turn to subtitles to tv for.... I DO NOT KNOW. And this is point I HATE IN LATVIA. I'm off to watch some DVD's. Mainly I bought from Rimi: Amelie and Hostel. I also have some Lost season 2 on DVD, which I should complete.

NO TV HERE, go away!

there there

I've been keeping MTV-Latvija on some of the times on the days, and every now and then there is this beautiful animation for the Brainstorm's newest song Lonely Feel ing (to Be Lonely). Song is dedicated to Greta Garbo, and I MIGHT, might, know what they're singing about. Animation is great with this small penguing who finds some things to his/her's life from the leaves of autumny trees. You should check them out. I am not sure whether there is video on net, but I believe that on websites (www.brainstorm.lv) or youtube have it.

Anyways.

Here it goes.

like ships without anchors
wide is the ocean, no islands, no shores
all is well, only
this is such a lonely feeling to be lonely

fame is illusion
bright are the lights and you - you are left in confusion
all is well, only
this is such a lonely feeling
this is such a lonely feeling

driving fast as fast as i can
or sitting quietly on the windowsill
you've got all and nothing
just put no more loneliness on my bill

this is such a lonely feeling

---

this was first part of the song, check out more from their webpage.

Otherwise Riga breaths. Festivals after festivals: now it is time for Baltic Pearl (www.baltijasperle.lv) which is movie festival FOR GOOD movies. Next weekend there is documental movie festival and at same time Skanu Mezs (www.skanumezs.lv) -- for new music. After that is time for Arsenal (contemporary movies) and World Music Festival. At the same time with these all is also Sacred Music Festival, some festival in Jurmala (seems to be party-party-people's festival, where I am not going). There was some others as well, but I have forgotten. Maybe some kind of theather festival... I will let you know, what you'll be missing.

kirjoituksia menneiltä vuosilta

Täällä on ihan hämärää, on hiljaista, pesukone pauhaa hetkittäin. Ulkona tuulee, ikkuna on auki.

Päivällä olin koulussa, opin vanhoja asioita: gregoriaanisesta laulusta ja kuuntelin kaunista kansanlaulua ala opiskelutoverit. Ostin huilun. Ostin Hornbyn uusimman kirjan, se kuulostaa ajankohtaiselta: ehkä sieltä löytyy vinkkejä maailman katsomiseen. Ostin yhtenä päivänä jäätelöä ja nyt muistin, että sitä on vielä kaapissa. Joten nyt menee loputkin. Täytyy alkaa juoksemaan, tuossa on kiva puisto vieressä, joten...

Pitäisi hankkia lisää lukemista. Kävin kyllä kirjastossa, mutta kun aikaa on, niin luen kirjan päivässä. Onneksi kirjasto on lähellä. Koulumatkan varrella. Lainasin Pussikaljaromaaninkin. Hassua, että juuri se oli täällä. No mutta, täytyy vielä jutella hc-tsätissä ihmisille. On niin paljon asiaa, kun ei näe kerran viikossa.

last nite in Riga Old Town Hostel

James asked me to send some pics for him, I do not have time and connection for that, so HERE, they are for anyone to look at --- and yes, English is not my first language still.. Starring: Inese and James

rain, rain, rain

That is our yard. And neighbourhood house. From my Window.


It has been raining... Don't know what to do!

But yeah, I went to Old Town Hostel's bar for ONE BEER, and I ended evening at 3am after "couple of beers". So, HC-member jeldridge, James, was there with his friends.